Brush, then use Listerine.

March 15, 2008 at 6:05 pm (life, munnie spending)

Munnies + New Shopper’s Drug Mart = Buying unnecessary items.

Last night I ventured with Mr. and Mrs. Landon to the new Shopper’s location (across the parking lot from their old location). Inside was a consumers wonderland of useless products that SEEM useful at the time of purchase! I had never been more tempted to place zinc tablets, super electronic toothbrushes and travel sized Axe in the brand-spanking-new shopping basket. Why would I ever need Axe? 1. It’s for men. 2. It’s not exactly irresistible.

I only ended up buying Burt’s Beeswax Lip Balm, some toothpaste on sale and Listerine. . . I held back — and like most times you just buy any item, no matter how redundant, I was eager to use them! Last night before bed I ignored the quarter full tube of toothpaste on my bathroom counter and spun open my brand new Sensodyne. “There is no way I can wait to use this! I need to treat my sensitive teeth RIGHT NOW!” Plus, it had “Whitening” powers, though any brand could say that. . . I’d never really compare before and after.

Cool Mint Listerine

Ahh, my mouth was minty fresh. But not minty fresh enough!! I needed something extreme. Something so outrageously fresh that it hurt. I needed something I would immediately regret pouring into my mouth. I would not rest until I experienced a feeling similar to that of attempting to ingest battery acid. I needed Listerine. The line on the cap was not visible in the dim light of my bathroom, so I guesstimated, and I’m not very good at guesstimating. . . it burned, yet the instructions told me that I would not kill all of the evil gingivitis and tartar bacteria men until I had sloshed the radioactive liquid from cheek to cheek for 30 seconds. It seemed like a lifetime, and I’m sure I didn’t even reach the 30 second mark, but I felt fresh enough. Now I could finally sleep soundly knowing that my mouth was safe for another 12 hours.

This morning I tried again, with half the amount of Listerine, and it was much better. At least it doesn’t turn my teeth brown.

Off to a shag party tonight. That sounds inappropriate. . . Cheers!



  1. Ems said,

    This entry made me laugh, which greatly improved my horrible day and horrible mood. Thank you LindZ! Lets make puppy chow ASAP!

  2. greg2point0 said,

    I went to new Shoppers Drug Mart and was too overwhelmed, it’s HUGE! It took me ten minutes just to figure out where everything is.

  3. planetlandon said,


    I heard that somewheres.

  4. Linake said,

    The only time I’ve heard that was any of the ten times you’ve told me.
    I still believe it.

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