Brush, then use Listerine.

March 15, 2008 at 6:05 pm (life, munnie spending)

Munnies + New Shopper’s Drug Mart = Buying unnecessary items.

Last night I ventured with Mr. and Mrs. Landon to the new Shopper’s location (across the parking lot from their old location). Inside was a consumers wonderland of useless products that SEEM useful at the time of purchase! I had never been more tempted to place zinc tablets, super electronic toothbrushes and travel sized Axe in the brand-spanking-new shopping basket. Why would I ever need Axe? 1. It’s for men. 2. It’s not exactly irresistible.

I only ended up buying Burt’s Beeswax Lip Balm, some toothpaste on sale and Listerine. . . I held back — and like most times you just buy any item, no matter how redundant, I was eager to use them! Last night before bed I ignored the quarter full tube of toothpaste on my bathroom counter and spun open my brand new Sensodyne. “There is no way I can wait to use this! I need to treat my sensitive teeth RIGHT NOW!” Plus, it had “Whitening” powers, though any brand could say that. . . I’d never really compare before and after.

Cool Mint Listerine

Ahh, my mouth was minty fresh. But not minty fresh enough!! I needed something extreme. Something so outrageously fresh that it hurt. I needed something I would immediately regret pouring into my mouth. I would not rest until I experienced a feeling similar to that of attempting to ingest battery acid. I needed Listerine. The line on the cap was not visible in the dim light of my bathroom, so I guesstimated, and I’m not very good at guesstimating. . . it burned, yet the instructions told me that I would not kill all of the evil gingivitis and tartar bacteria men until I had sloshed the radioactive liquid from cheek to cheek for 30 seconds. It seemed like a lifetime, and I’m sure I didn’t even reach the 30 second mark, but I felt fresh enough. Now I could finally sleep soundly knowing that my mouth was safe for another 12 hours.

This morning I tried again, with half the amount of Listerine, and it was much better. At least it doesn’t turn my teeth brown.

Off to a shag party tonight. That sounds inappropriate. . . Cheers!

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4 Comments

  1. Ems said,

    This entry made me laugh, which greatly improved my horrible day and horrible mood. Thank you LindZ! Lets make puppy chow ASAP!

  2. greg2point0 said,

    I went to new Shoppers Drug Mart and was too overwhelmed, it’s HUGE! It took me ten minutes just to figure out where everything is.

  3. planetlandon said,

    LISTERINE IS THE ONLY TRUE MOUTHWASH!

    I heard that somewheres.

  4. Linake said,

    The only time I’ve heard that was any of the ten times you’ve told me.
    I still believe it.

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