For most cat owners there are times when you seriously start to question why you got a cat in the first place. They sit on anything you are trying to read, they stand in front of anything you are trying to watch, they lay on the table and they wake you up at all hours of the night as they tear through the house at 30 kilometres per hour. Not to mention they leave clumps of hair on the carpet and upholstery, before vomiting up the wet food that they love so much.
Alternatively, there are moments when your cat is the greatest thing in your life. For instance: when they sit near you if you need comforting, when they kneed your stomach before they lay down, or most importantly the fact that they provide endless entertainment at family gatherings — if they can be bothered to show themselves during one.
Then there are the times when your cat does something so odd, so absolutely out-there that you feel a totally different emotion towards them. I’d set the mix as 50% entertained, 36% cautious and 14% frightened for your well being. You begin to wonder if they have little kitty voices in their heads telling them to DESTROY ALL HUMANS (much like the game of the same name, but with fewer aliens and more lasers. Laser cats.) Every cat owner has thought of it. We have all had that knowledge in the back of our minds that if, for whatever reason, our cat wanted to take over the house, then they very well could. They’ve got teeth, they’ve got claws and they know our sleeping schedules better than anyone. They pretty much own the place anyways!
That said, this is my cat. Her name is Chloe, she is 6 years old and she is unstable. Some of my friends would say evil, but I know her cuddly side and it is the predominant one — though when she is tired of being cuddled you’d better know when to quit because she’ll tense up and take a swat at you. . . before grabbing you with her front paws, kicking you with her back legs and biting your hand. All at once, and all with her claws out.
I love her. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I talk to her regularly (as anyone who loves their pet does) and she will occasionally meow a reply. She comes when I call her name, she follows me all around the house (including into the bathroom which is something only cats can get away with), she takes up half of my bed when we sleep and she loves to go outside on her own to explore the wilderness! By “wilderness” I mean the “backyard”, but she stays close to the house and always comes back within a few hours. She also enjoys running-then-sliding on wood or tiled floors with her hairy paws, fighting with my dad, eating green olives and licking our hair after we have a shower. Yeah I know, that last one is strange but true.
Anywhoo, the whole point to this post is this: Two weeks ago, when my parents were in Italy visiting my brother, I was staying home alone and I woke up to what I tried to convince myself WAS NOT my cat trying to set up a booby trap. With thumbs only half way up her legs she had to improvise with its construction, but I think it was meant to strangle me. It seems she was hiding nearby waiting to test her trap’s success. She was foiled, of course, and she acted innocent. You be the judge!
I’m sorry for the terrible cellphone quality image. Cheers!